Bubble Bath

Five Minor Gossip Girl Characters in Six Outfits

Originally published on Substack 4/1/2021

This week, I’m swapping out an in-depth look at Serena van der Woodsen’s costume design for a handful of representative outfits worn by Gossip Girl’s minor players, from Eleanor Waldorf to Diana Payne. I originally planned to publish this post following the last of my character profiles, but after a two-week-plus quarantine (thanks, COVID!), six costume changes seem like just enough. The Serena, of course, will always rise; look out for her profile on Thursday, April 22. Until then, I’ll map out the smaller stars in her orbit—a little less sparkly, but not less interesting.

On a serious note: As some of you may have already learned, the platform that hosts this newsletter, Substack, has courted transphobic and otherwise hateful writers through sizeable advances against their subscription fees. Many Substack creators, including myself, are angry at its leadership for supporting these writers, especially considering that their content guidelines “do not allow hate.” Some writers have already moved their newsletters to different platforms and some are donating their subscriptions to LGBTQIA+ organizations.

I have never offered a paid subscription option and have no plans to, and so I make nothing off this newsletter. For this reason, I don’t have a lot of money to invest in transferring this newsletter to another service. (Substack, for reference, is free to use; if you do offer paid subscriptions, they take a small percentage.) That being said, I am looking into other low-cost options and encourage other Substack writers to do the same. If and when I do switch platforms, you’ll be the first to know!

If you pay for a Substack newsletter, ask the writer if there’s another way you can provide your monthly subscription. To quote Aminatou Sow, it really sucks “that trans writers and writers who are trying to do the right thing are leaving [Substack] behind, compromising their income while the very people who should be examining their attitudes towards others and the space they take up in the world keep getting richer.”

And on that note, let’s look at some rich assholes in clothes!

Eleanor Waldorf

Eleanor in a cream ruffled blouse, beaded necklace, and navy pants

Most fashion designers fall into one of two categories: the first loves to experiment with clothing their own body as much as their models’; the second never strays far from a uniform, saving all their fashion decisions for their runway. Eleanor Waldorf’s uniform is a blouse and slacks—the blouse often satin-y and sometimes jewel toned; the slacks neutral, perhaps with a subtle pinstripe. There may be a statement necklace and some kind of neck detail to the blouse—like her daughter, Blair, Eleanor loves a bow or a frill. Take, for example, the ruffled cream blouse, beaded necklace, and navy pants that she wears to her runway show in episode 2.5—pieces, you can imagine, have hung in her closet for years; that say, “Don’t look at me. Look at my line.”

Nelly Yuki

Nelly in a mustard cardigan, white blouse, navy skirt, and white knit tights, the other minions in more colorful tights and sweaters

Nelly Yuki is the “reluctant minion”—she falls into the role in season one but never quite takes to the other girls’ manipulations, more focused on getting into college than cooking up schemes. Her uniform, too, remains simpler, less attention seeking than her fellow minions’: here at the right (2.17), she wears a plain mustard cardigan over her white blouse and navy uniform skirt and tie, her tights white knit. The other girls are bolder, their cardigans ruffled and their stockings brightly hued and printed. Nelly’s biggest fashion statement is her glasses, which change in size and shape and color from episode to episode, finally settling on classic, neutral styles in season six.

Nelly in a black double-breasted dress, rhinestone necklace, and brown Lady Dior bag

Season six Nelly, after all, is a fashion success—a reporter at Women’s Wear Daily, carrying a Lady Dior handbag that “was a personal gift from Raf [Simons].” Much like in seasons one and two, she favors unfussy styles, but this time her fashion has the air of a mature young woman, one who has grown and changed beyond high school, unlike her former frenemy Blair. To interview Blair about her new collection, Nelly chooses a black double-breasted dress and rhinestone necklace, the aforementioned bag slung confidently on her arm. Nelly has worked hard for her success and she’s going to show it.

Juliet Sharp

Juliet in a beige dress, pearl necklace, and knife-shaped studs

Not since Jenny Humphrey in season one has there been a character whose clothes are such an act of labor, of artifice. Unlike her fellow Columbia classmates, Juliet Sharp is poor, and so she borrows her designer clothes from Rent the Runway, buys them outlet from Woodbury Commons, reattaches their price tags; she even, god forbid, styles her own hair. Her pieces never stray from chameleonic neutrals and business casual—simple, sleek blazers and sleeveless dresses and pencil skirts that she can mix and match without anyone noticing they’re the same pieces. She repeats her jewelry—from a little string of pearls, easily faked, to a pair of knife-shape studs, perfect for a backstabber with the last name “Sharp.” In 4.4, for example, she pairs both with a beige draped Helmut Lang dress—the tag, I’m sure, tucked into her armpit.

Eva Coupeau

Chuck in a brown pinstripe suit and Eva in a peach blouse, light yellow skirt, brown handbag and brown heels

Eva alights in the season four premiere, a French angel who saves Chuck Bass from his gunshot wound, then becomes his new girlfriend. Unlike Juliet, she never hides her lack of money, wearing her blond hair simple and soft, her wardrobe consisting mainly of sweet little blouses and skirts—in this case (4.2), a peach blouse and buttercream-yellow skirt, the colors perfectly complementing those of Chuck’s suit.

Eva in a peach blouse and silver pearl necklace

With most of her looks, Eva repeats a silver chain and pearl necklace, a brown leather purse and peep-toe heels. When Chuck gives her a new piece—an expensive Cartier watch—she sells it to help his valet’s family; when she must go to a fancy event, she feels strange charging designer dresses to Chuck’s credit card. All this is to say that Eva is far too pure and good for the Upper East Side, and she is gone after episode four.

Diana Payne

Diana in a strapless brown leopard dress

From her very first appearance (5.1), in a strapless leopard-print dress, Diana Payne means business. Unbeknownst to Nate Archibald, she’s been hired by his grandfather to seduce him and convince him to work at The Spectator, and so her appearance must cover every cougar cliché: sleek, skintight sheaths in bold solids and the occasional animalistic pattern, statement earrings peeping out from her flowing brown locks, and high heels. Diana’s wardrobe is just professional enough for the Spectator office, just sexy enough for a twentysomething guy of simple tastes; her look so finely hewn that Blair imitates it in one piece, a bright blue bandage dress.

Previous
Previous

The Fantasy of Serena van der Woodsen

Next
Next

The Revision of Dan Humphrey